


"He just...let go."

by ItsJina



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Purgatory, what may have happened that caused Castiel to just let go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 07:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsJina/pseuds/ItsJina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a river that runs through purgatory, and Cas is looking at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"He just...let go."

**Author's Note:**

> Wanted to get this out there before the show actually airs and we find out what actually happens in purgatory. 
> 
> Inspired by flutiebear & ennead13x's post [flutiebear(.)tumblr(.)com/post/32277079095/ennead13x-flutiebear-theres-this-idea-i] at tumblr. Something about Cas, the river that he was squatting next to, and how it may erases memories. (Read the post for more about it)
> 
> From Cas’s perspective.

What pretty water.

_“Cas.”_

He was scrubbing the blood off of his hands by the edge of the small river when he got distracted. The reflective light off the water made it sparkle like stars, and the fishes—beautifully diversely colored like the rainbow—swimming so gracefully and strong underneath the current were really pretty.

_“Cas.”_

It was curiously strange that such lovely creatures existed in a place like purgatory. The whole river was a nicer place than he’d imagined. The water was really cool and felt really good on his hands.

“Cas!”

With a sigh, he pulled his gaze away from the water. He looked up to Dean questioningly. “Yes, Dean?”

Dean, with an obvious impatient frown, asked sarcastically, “Done bathing yet, sunshine?”

He looked over himself. Luckily, none of the monster’s blood got on his clothes. He didn’t need to wash them again. He looked at Dean. Dean was dirt-ridden, both his skin and clothes. “What about you, moonlight?”

Dean looked at him strangely for a moment before shrugging. “Let’s go. Benny said to be there in two days. No time to waste.”

Benny. He didn’t trust him at all. Neither did Dean. But they didn’t really have a choice. They didn’t know their way around purgatory or how to get out, and Benny apparently did. It could be worse, he supposed. They could’ve been outnumbered and surrounded by monsters. Dean could’ve been hurt by previous monster attacks. But they were relatively safe for now. And Dean was more than alive.

Dean’s eyes burn bright and jaws were locked tight, gaze looking everywhere warily. His shoulders were tensed, his hands tight on the prize gun stolen from the defeated monsters.

He looked at the river longingly before Dean’s “I’m leaving you Cas!” got him to reluctantly leave.

—

He awoke to the sound of the river.

He shifted up and saw Dean on watch, in the same position from earlier, sitting with one leg crossed. His eyes were blood-shot and as always, he was tensed and alert. The dying fire only shadowed the darkness on Dean’s face.

“Dean,” he whispered, and Dean barely shifted his gaze to him. “Let me,” he said as he pushed away the sleeping bag cover. “You rest.”

Dean obviously hesitated, his eyes now on him, and assessing him. “…You sure?”

He nodded. “Rest. If you are to guide us tomorrow, you need to sleep.”

Dean still hesitated for a moment, before sighing and getting up.

They traded spots and Dean handed him the gun, though Dean’s grip lingered on it a moment longer before letting go.

As if he was going to sleep on pins, Dean gingerly looked it over, before slowly lowering himself onto the sleeping bag and allowing his back to have contact with it. He shifted restlessly, moving closer to the fire. He settled with a huff of breath. He blinked a couple times, sighed heavily, and then closed his eyes. Even so, Dean still looked tensed, ready to spring into action at any time.

“Go to sleep, Dean,” he said soothingly. “I’ve got it.”

Dean finally relaxed, his shoulders less tight, his expression more smooth. His breathes evened out and within a minute, he was asleep.

There was nothing for the first hour or so. A few rustles and leaves crunches, but that’s all. The fire was like a form of protection, they’ve learned. So now and then, he’d throw in some woods they found earlier to keep it going. If the fire failed, they still had the traps they made right before sunset. The traps surrounded them in a circle, and only Dean and he knew where they laid. Not even Benny would suspect where.

The trickling sound of water, of a river—it became more prominent. He raised his head to get a better hearing and moved toward the direction of the sound. He thought they left the river miles away already.

Maybe a small tributary ran through somewhere near them. He’d like to find out where. He’d like to go to the river again. The constant flowing sound of it was lulling. It sounded nice.

Suddenly, the sound faded away. He stood up and took a couple steps forward, in hopes to hear it clearer again. But his eyes fell upon Dean, and he frowned.

He needed to keep watch. He needed to look over Dean.

He sat back down.

Maybe Dean wouldn’t mind that he went to the river, if he brought back some water with him.

He got up again, but heard noises not far away.

He sat back down again, and threw more wood to the fire.

He needed to keep Dean safe.

—

They met up with Benny.

Benny noticed his liking of the water.

“See something you like?” Benny said to him when Dean wasn’t looking, a smirk on his face.

 He scurried away. Benny cackled. Dean glared and told Benny to stop fooling around or else. Benny didn’t take much of the threat.

He’s wary of Benny, like always. But the water, now a constant sight on their journey, distracted him and relaxed him.

When they made a turn near the river, he took an opportunity to dip his palm into the river and sip the water. It had an unusual taste, but not bad. He craved for more.

He caught Benny watching him, grinning slyly before turning his back to him.

He didn’t have a good feeling about Benny, and he was going to tell Dean, walking fast past Benny to get to Dean.

Dean was distracted. He absentmindedly shushed him, “Cas, not now!”

He deflated and let Dean walked on ahead with Benny, who was still making him uncomfortable with sneers and quiet laughter.

He looked over his shoulder again to the river, fascinated by the constant pattern of the river. Nothing out of order.

Pretty.

He looked ahead of him again, Dean and Benny getting further and further away.

Why did he stop walking?

He slowly moved his feet, looking behind him again. He’d like to get near the river again.

Maybe he’ll get more than a sip next time.

—

They took a break and luckily, they were near the river again.

He took his chance and wandered over to the river. It was still pretty like always, maybe even better now on a closer look.

He put his hands in the water and it felt really good. There were many fishes in the water now and they brushed against his hands, unafraid, and it tickled his skin. He chuckled delightfully. It was really beautiful, this place, this river. He put his hands together and scooped up some water, swallowing it down fast. It tasted really good. He smiled.

He settled his feet into the water and it really does feel nice. He cupped his hands together again and scooped some more.

Distantly, he heard growls and noises and _“Cas!”_

But it was hard to tear his concentration and eyes away from the river. He was really thirsty, all of the sudden. He needed to drink more, so he did.

Even better, there were more than just fishes in the river. There were other water creatures, even more beautiful and majestic than the fishes. They were swimming nearer to him now, as if they were just as curious.

They were waiting for something though. The way they swam around him like there was a barrier of some sorts. He wondered what they were waiting for.

_“Cas!”_

He looked down at his hands, where it played with the water. He looked at the creatures, and they looked expectant.

“Ah, I see.” They wanted him to drink more. What kind creatures.

_“Cas, damn it! It’s time to go!”_

He cupped his hands and scooped up a lot of water this time.

_“Cas, we’re getting out of here!”_

He swallowed it all down and let out a content breath.

“CAS!”

He jerked around, confused. Who was screaming so loud? He spot a man not far away, who was screaming at him, it seemed.

“Cas, you stupid son of a bitch! Let’s go!”

Who was Cas? The strange man stormed over to him and grabbed him by the shoulder. He had a stony expression and his grip was too tight.

He shoved away the hurtful man and took steps backward into the water. He was knee-deep when he stopped.

“Cas? What are you doing?” The man asked in disbelief. He looked at the water warily and looked at him again, this time with a very anxious face. The man held his hand out to him. “Come, now. The gate will close soon.”

He stared at the hand curiously and slowly reached out. Something about this man was compelling.

Something brushed against his leg.

He looked down and noticed a magnificent water creature, with a long scaly body and bright colored fins.

His hand came back to his side and he turned around, eyes tracking the creature.

“Cas?”

He looked over his shoulder and saw a strange being standing not far from him. The being had a very confused face and he had his hand out, for some odd reason.

He tilted his head and stared for a second.

Then he looked for the creature again. There were more now, surrounding all around him. He was their center. Delightful.

“Cas? CAS!”

There were sounds of splashes and then another voice.

“It’s closing! We got to go now!”

“Cas, god damn it! I can’t—“

“It’s too late!”

“Get off me! He’s in danger! Cas! CAS!”

He didn’t hear anymore, as he walked deeper into the river, and more creatures surrounded him, and he allowed himself to submerge under.

The creatures were truly beautiful. The water was entirely wonderful.

_“CASSSS!”_


End file.
